No catchy tie title tie in with the video this post… sorry

I wanted to do a quick post to first of all thank everyone that wrote me or gave me a “hope you are okay” shout out. My last few posts have been less than chipper. I am going through a pretty rough spell here, it is not Korea. Korea is fine, it is the teaching situation that has me doubting my future here. As stated before, i recognize i am not in the happiest place in my mind right now with the passing of my cat back home. Lets be honest, my cat was with me since 1993… i want everyone to sit back and think who has been by your side for close to 19 years? So, yes my cat of 18+ years is gone and that makes me sad. Hell it will probably affect me a little for a long time. that old bastard was a really great cat. Moving on…

The tough part is the school. I am not sure i can take it for another semester…. the bad classes acting worse and the fact that nobody i have met gives a rats ass about America or American culture or me. So it boils down to what is the point, just put a CD player in front of the class that spouts out random English phrases if nobody cares about my culture. I am going to wait until after summer English camp and my trip to Japan to see if i want to try to stick it out or not. I figure i have a few choices: I can stick it out and try to instill some level of respect in my students. I can contact EPIK and try to get reassigned, i can pull a midnight run or i can do something wacky like throw a desk through a window and get fired.

The first one will be the toughest, the kids are bad and i am not sure if they can be changed. There are 2 or 3 classes that are so disrespectful it is beyond belief, especially for a Black Belt that was used to deep bows and respect when approached by a lower rank. On the positive side if i do stick it out there will be more time to see Korea and Japan plus i can take care of a bill or two back home and also score a couple guitar related items with the cash. On the negative side i might suffer a heart attach or get fired for flipping out.

The second option would be the highest on my list at present, it is respectable and professional. Despite how some back home might perceive me i do actually always try to do what is professional and respectable, often my light hearted nature or my silliness was misinterpreted as not caring or being unprofessional but that was never the case. SO, pros of this are i get a new school that is hopefully a little better. The cons are i have to move all my shit to another location and in the long run i might end up with a crappy school. As a side note – the whole “Asian kids study harder and work harder” thing is complete and utter bullshit. See, unlike America where everyone in the world feels it is completely acceptable to call shenanigans on everything we say or do in Korea if they say something they stick to it whether it is a lie or not. If something like “the kids in Korea respect teachers” is said by someone they just kinda hang their collective hats on it no matter how much of a lie it is. And trust me, from where i stand it is one of the biggest lies of all.

Third option is the least acceptable to me, I try to be honorable so to sneak off and leave the school high and dry would be my last resort. i think i would actually stick it out before i did the midnight run but after some tough classes i feel like doing it.

And the last option of doing something to get me fired, it is an option. Getting fired is not great but it would be a means to an end. So there you have it folks, I do want to thank everyone sincerely for caring about me. It might not be as bad as it reads, i mean i am not at home cutting myself or crying myself to sleep every night. Hard is hard, there is no sugar coating it in my world. I think my personality might be a little hard for this kind of job. I can be a hard man and at times. i see life through a very harsh unforgiving light. But please don’t read this and think i am on the edge or ready to spaz out (yeah… i said spaz out – i love the 80’s). If you were rooting for my fall sorry about your luck, if you are worried about me thank you and if you support me through thick and thin then you are a friend. we shall see to what ends this journey takes after i finally touch now in the land of the rising sun. only then will my path be clear.

p.s. – didn’t i say “quick post” at the beginning of this long, incoherent rambling tale? sorry… beer and internet access DON’T MIX ha ha

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