FRUSTRATION… and confusion

Yup… the title says it all. Basically this long and winding story starts innocently enough a few months ago. My parents wanted to give me some money for my travels as a gift. I left for Korea before anyone remembered about it. My parents said why don’t we wire the money to you. Always being one to enjoy money i said sure how hard could that be (insert rolling eyes here). My parents talk to their bank and get a list of the information i need to supply. Seemed pretty straight forward, i printed out the sheet and highlighted the parts i needed to email back. So i talk to my co-teacher and she agrees to take me to the bank to set this up.

You know that funny feeling you get when you know something is not going to go particularly well? Usually when you are going to the DMV or trying to transfer something or whatever… you never seem to have the right things with you and the person you are talking to always seems to be speaking some strange foreign language made up of numbers with dashes. Well, i had that feeling as i approached the bank. We sit there patiently and wait to be called. Finally we are up, we sit down and i hand the paper to him as a flurry of korean language starts flying. “Do you have your passport?” i blankly look at him and my co-teacher and say no as i think to myself what am i traveling to another country? No problem, he “looks it up” somehow. He looks at the very innocent things i have highlighted on the paper… standard things like Address and Branch Name. Again the flurry of Korean flys. Now, the phrase i hear next initially bounces off my head as an innocent communication of general information but it wasn’t. It was the beginning of the end for me.

Say it with me everyone “You Only Need 3 Things For A Wire Transfer”. Guess what… those 3 things were NOT the items i had highlighted. Anyone care to wager how GOD DAMN IMPOSSIBLE it is to get a Korean to write 3 GOD DAMN THINGS you had highlighted on a paper if they are not part of the grand scheme of “the only 3 things you need for a wire transfer”? Put your wallet away, i wouldn’t steal from you like that. Let’s just say i heard that bullshit for 20 minutes. Each time it was accompanied by “i have never had to give this information before”. At this point i start to stare out the window, i have a really handy defense mechanism when ever i want to drag someone across a desk and do bad things i just stare out the window and pretend i am not really there. It always works because most often people with ties on are not there to really “listen” they are the all knowing and need not be questions or bothered with petty things like me. Long story short i pretty much say “Listen, you might only need 3 things for a wire transfer but this bank’s internal policy is they need these things. I MUST SEND AN EMAIL with these things. Then i went into mime speak and fake typed on the desk saying ADDRESS tap tap tap, BRANCH tap tap tap”, and i did that for everything i had highlighted. i think it sunk in that i had lost all rational thought at this point and should be treated as happy fun ball. finally enough things are written on the paper that i can stop.

One last thing, i say to him… i need to transfer money to japan. can you give me the form. “Sure thing” he says… he highlights a few things and hands it to me to fill out. Anyone care to wager on what was highlighted on the paper he handed me? That’s right, THE SAME THING i needed for my form. I looked him square in the eye and said “ADDRESS, BRANCH… PHONE NUMBER” showing him that he was full of shit. I took his business card to hopefully burn in some elaborate voodoo ceremony when i get back home. My co-teacher got me to the elevator before my rant started. In a world where logic has no home, if you try to talk to someone wearing a tie you have already lost. just give up and stare out the window. It’s your only hope.


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