So Tired… of the FAIL!

I am so tired… so tired of the FAIL! Slowly but surely the classes come together, my expectations lower, my students get used to me… so why am i tired? let me explain gentle reader. I can’t ever seem to get ONE DAY start to finish go without a fail of some sort and it is pulling my soul from me! Lets look at an example, lets take oh I don’t know today for an example. Now last 2 weeks i have had a 9th grade class that bordered on horrendous. Today in my first period class i taught a 7th grade class and they were good, they have always been pretty good. So i taught that and everything hit, my activity worked so yea for that. Now i brace for my second period 9th graders that i described above as horrendous only because i don’t curse on this site (my mom reads it sometimes). Today i have a new co-teacher that doesn’t take any shit (i had different teachers for this class up til now). Today low and behold the class is good, not only is it good it is freakin GREAT! See, in Korea the Guest English Teacher (i.e. – English monkey) is only as strong or as weak as their stick wielding Native Korean Co-teacher. Up til now the co-teacher was nice, the new one whom i am eternally grateful to have is a nice person but brutal on the kids. So thanks to her the class was a hit, they even did the activity! I only teach 2 regular classes today so i was feeling AWESOME! After that class my day was not okay or good as i usually describe it as internally i choke back tears and bile… it was GREAT!

So, here comes the pain… my very last class is a new 7th period “conversation class”. I have never had the class but it was described as “higher level kids come in and speak English” sounds awesome right?!? So as i prepared for this class i made up a blog just for the kids with this grand scheme of having conversation class and then each week as a class we make an article for this online blog, the kids love it, their parents bask in the glory of their child’s incredible English skill and i sit back and puff on a big cigar and look at all the greatness i have helped create. BZZZZZZZ Wrong… do not pass go, do not collect $200. See, when i envisioned this i prepared like i was talking with kids that were fluent in English. So basically i give this dissertation about Media and how it influences all around us and that our every thought is influenced by media and that we now would join this glorious process by our own blog. Insert cricket sounds here. Then I have the kids come up one at a time to introduce themselves since “as a small class we would be working together to make our articles”. Eh, one by one the kids came up and mumbled shyly into there chests and went back to their seats. It hits me pretty quickly i best put that cigar away because i am in for a long LONG class. Tediously i carry on till the bell saves me.

So the class i looked forward to for a couple weeks was a FAIL! again i leave my school with my head hanging low feeling like a schlep. It wasn’t the kids fault, it wasn’t the schools fault it was all on me. What possessed me to think that a middle school class in Korea would know what the hell i was even talking about?!? god damn it. So i have this class 4 times a week. i am going to start my class tomorrow with an apology and starting at ground zero. Hopefully the kids have a short memory and i haven’t lost them. I think i can save the class but i really have to settle down and start over. i am still soooooo tired of the constant fail! i remember long ago in a galaxy far far away i would go months without a fail.


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