Time to draw the line in the sand!

The dead horse has been beaten, the hot sun has burned the failure into my minds eye… the line has been drawn. I move forward with getting to japan/korea or i accept this failure and move on. October is the make or break month. I have an Epik interview for Korea public school, i have an Interac interview for japan public schools and i have one or two outstanding recruiters impotently fumbling around. After the dust settles i either pack my bags or quit this failed experiment and move on in life.

It is tough for me, but i got to thinking how many of you would walk away from a current job that pays more than two times the money of the teaching gig for personal growth? How many would put their lives on hold for YEARS as i have to chase a dream of seeing a new land and meeting new people. I got to thinking of what a fool i have been trying to expand my mind. I guess being burnt by ECC taught me, jumping through all the various hoops for every god damn recruiter taught me, and the constant waiting and disappointment has taught me so in a perverse sad way i DID expand my mind through this futile exercise… i expanded my rage and anger. We all know where this train is headed, the tracks are laid and the sun is setting. I will put forth the effort and i will try and fight like hell but the honest truth is that Asia does not want nor need an old fat white guy teaching english to their kids. Asia only wants white young pretty women and since i am not young nor a pretty woman i am shit out of luck. I had high hopes for this, i really believed. Come October 30th i think we all know what i am going to believe… i will believe in having another round to drown my rage and sorrow and i will believe that my tiny little world will shrink and die a little more. Welcome to old age my friends… if you are young burn your candle hot and fast because after you get a little older nobody gives a shit what you think or say. In the immortal words of Neil Young… it is truly better to burn out, than to fade away.

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