I’m blue….

I gotta tell you all i am going through a major crisis of faith. I did not get rejected from the last round of interviews or anything like that but i gotta say maybe i should grow up and just forget this quest for personal growth and enlightenment. bottom line is i keep reading about how crappy teaching ESL is, how underhanded and rough the Hagwon bosses are and how xenophobic Korea is becoming. I frequent a site that is known for info in the ESL world and just keep reading about all these bad situations. Now as i mentioned in an earlier post i think everything on the internet is a lie and know that these are not true representations of the business otherwise it would cease to exist. That is not what is shaking me, it is the fact that i have a home and a good job during a time of economic collapse in the world. I am not happy at my job but it is not a horrible job either, hell i make 2 ESL teaching salaries per year at my current job. i have a lot of plans outside of work that are kinda on hold during this period. I am having a hard time gauging how important pushing the reset button on my life is. I am bored and getting more bored, i sleep walk through life like a zombie because there is NOTHING new. When i fill out an application and it asks to list past addresses over the past 10 years there is ONE. I have been at my job for 14 years… you know that old saying that a rolling stone gathers no moss, well lets just say this stone hasn’t rolled for a while and the moss has taken shape into a fat ass (the 5lbs a year for 15 years plan). So here i stand at a cross roads, one path is full of the things i want like a new car and redoing my home – this is the easy path. Then there is the other path, the one full of challenge and uncertainty and struggle. Deep in my heart i know that the hard path will help me grow and shake shit up a little and wake me up, but the easy path has womb like comfort and safety. I just need one god damn thing to go my way in the search to nudge me back into excitement of challenge. one god damn thing!

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