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Bad news… apparently we are on the highway to hell!

Highway to HELL

From time to time I read the posts on social media and I am not quite sure why there is so much traffic on my way to work. Apparently I am the only person that feels the end of our country is not upon us. Look, long story short if you hate America so much by all means please move somewhere else. It will make booking hotels and getting flights much easier for me.

Now, i am not some mindless droid that does not see the negative. FAR FROM IT there are a lot of laws put in place to keep people of my ilk away from power. Ever since the election and the subsequent butt hurt from all the losing busters it has become clear that the politicians are not the problem, it is the people they represent. America the nation of whiny weak crybabies that pout their little lips and cry the moment they don’t get their every wish. I look around and see a society of nothing but weak willed, soft sad sacks. The vicious hard bodied and harder souled people that build America have fathered a nation of soft weak wills.

After the election was over I thought the maddening idiocy around me would just fade into the back ground and life would resume. WRONG! We are weeks removed and I am still hearing people harping about the election and the horror of our President. How about you show a little god damn respect, he is OUR PRESIDENT! Think it is an easy job fill out your application and let the entire world dissect your life and call you stupid for every single thing you have done. How would YOU measure up?

I got some bad news for you sunshine, every one of these politicians that you complain about and hate on are a reflection of YOU. The lumbering dinosaur that is our political system is a direct parallel of the US. So if you hate it so much get the hell out. Go explore the world and stake your claim in some other “better” country. How about you worry more about doing your best rather than cast stones. Work harder at your job, making your neighborhood a better place by volunteering and give your baseless meaningless hate a little rest. Leave the sarcasm and biting commentary to those of us who are better at it. You know, those of us that have a Blog.

Sad but true…. Oh So TRUE!

You know, I was one that often complained about MTV and their obvious lack of M on the TV. Granted,  this video does make a TON of valid points I will stick to my guns that doesn’t excuse the talentless horrible people they ARE putting on television for the youth to look up to. They are one honey boo boo away from lowering the IQ’s of their watching demographic by 40+ points. I do miss the old music videos that I grew up watching, I am old so I was actually watching when the channel was much crazier and experimental and really cool. You know… before it became profitable.

But for the most part I think it is more me missing being young than it is missing MTV. If you are reading this and under 30 I will give you these three truths: 1) EVERYONE over 30 is jealous of you  2) get off the internet and go enjoy debauchery before it hurts so much the next morning and finally 3) make lots of memories before the chains of responsibility weigh you down like the chains of the ghost of Christmas past.

Planning a road trip to nowhere… or A HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!!!

Yeah, I was going to put the Kenny Loggins version of “highway to the danger zone” but found some wacky Dubstep version so that was that. Planning a trip middle of next year, going to fly to California from Tampa, Florida. It will be a 2 week journey starting with 3 days in Disneyland, one day touring the Fender factory then the rest will be a massive road trip across America in a big ass rental car (I am hoping to be rolling in a Lincoln Town Car but we shall see what I can get). Since I have seen mostly seen only the East Coast parts of America I am pretty excited about the trip.

A few challenges present themselves as I muse about where this road trip will take me. First, I am very used to long road trips but they are very destination based in that I hall ass until I get where I am going. Usually there is some type of “time i need to beat” or other such nonsense. So, I really need to learn how to enjoy the scenery while still maintaining some hint of schedule. I have heard you really need to have decent hotels reserved so I will need to get to destinations but still be able to stop and smell the roses as they say. Which leads to the second challenge… what do I need to see?

I want to stop at wacky places with the world biggest display of yard gnomes and quiet diners that have “the worlds greatest milk shakes.” I want to look around small town thrift shops and barn sales. I want to wake up in some small town nobody has ever heard of and eat breakfast in some random place that is known for their “local charm” but there are some very important places I haven’t seen yet in my life, they have to take precedence. I don’t need to see Las Vegas again, but I do need to get to the grandeur of the painted desert or Yellowstone. I want to see Route 66 but from what I have heard there is not too much left to see. So in the grand scheme it looks like 2 weeks will be tight but that is all I can afford to take off.

All in all I am extremely excited about the upcoming journey. Tons of research and lots of thinking and thinking until my thinker is sore. Anyone out there has any “must see” sites or routes please comment. Any places out there I really REALLY need to bypass to avoid hearing banjo playing in the woods PLEASE comment. So many decisions about something so far away, it is starting to feel like my months leading up to Korea. This is a bit more of a rambling post, I guess I just can’t wait to get on the road again!

Got Pacman fever? TOUGH!

This is a classic case of corporate thinking ruining two great products. G4 used to be 2 channels, TechTV and G4. Both geek based formats catered to different demographics, Computer (tech) and Gamer. So a gaggle of suits got together and stroked their beards and said “how can we maximize profit?” One with the longest of beards stood up tall and said “I HAVE GOT IT… we just need to mix your peanut butter with my chocolate!”
When they put them both in a blender and hit the slaughter button out poured a watered down version of both. Leaving the fans of G4 pining for the days of total gamer entertainment and leaving the tech nerds wondering what happened to their insightful computer wonderland of TechTV.
With the crash and burn of the channel one wonders who will swoop in and create the formats that we miss so much. Give us our original channels back, someone… PLEASE step in and save us.

Liking your car is a tough thing!

Driving around the parking lot looking for a spot is not really so I am close to work, it is more to better judge the height and color of today’s new door ding. See, where I work the parking spots are a little tight and my co-workers for the most part have total disregard for their and your car.

In the olden days (i.e. – before I went to Korea for a year) I drove a 1994 Nissan Pickup truck that has over the years become a fairly evil little beast. I reworked the body, taking out very near 1,000 little dings and dents. After I straightened the body I painted it hotrod flat black and gave it a bit of a evil look. So for the most part people stayed away from it. Upon my return the age was starting to show so I parked the truck and prepped it for a frame off restoration. I need to beef up the engine and give it all new parts and hopefully make it evil enough to make little children cry and mothers clutch their babies tight to them as I drive by.

In the mean time I made the mistake of buying a car that I have always loved. I bought a 2005 Honda S2000. It is a little older but only has 32,000 on it and looks new as the day it rolled off the assembly line. Here in lies the problem, I CARE ABOUT IT! Every week I take a walk around my new beautiful car and assess what my co-workers have done to it. And every week I find more and more of those dings and dents. Long story short is I need to hurry up and finish the truck restoration so I can get the nice new car away from the daily damage… or maybe I just have to make the Honda flat black and evil so more people will fear that car? I don’t think that will work, that truck truly does have some serious attitude and will be even worse when I done making it a fire breathing dragon. I guess I will just have to make peace with the fact that dents will happen. It is hard though, I care too much. So please gentle reader… if you are out and about and see a light blue Suzuka blue S2000 can you cut me a break and not put a dent in it? Please? just once?

Hollywood’s Missing Ingredient

I love movies, I love many different genre and style of movie. There are some genre that I enjoy more than others but by and large I love movies. As an avid movie fan Hollywood’s offerings as of late have felt very flat. I look at Hollywood and wonder what is missing? What is wrong? What the hell?
To best realize what is missing today I started by looking at the past to see what different societal and cultural influences made the movies what they are today. A wise man once said “follow the money”, I don’t know who this man is but he was onto something.
The peak of movie attendance was a very long time ago, 1946 to be exact. That was the pinnacle of people going to the movies. The late 40’s were that incredible time for Hollywood when there was a very eager market with lots of disposable income and not a heck of a lot of competition. Movies pretty much could not be made fast enough. The 1950’s gave movies some credible and long lasting competition, of course I am referring to the all mighty TELEVISION. The reaction Hollywood had to this competition was of course the 1960’s decade of crippling overproduction. Movies entered an era of style over substance that in the long run hurt movie studios. The end of the 1960’s did manage to give us a surprise in Easy Rider, a free wheeling movie that changed perspectives of the moviegoer and studios to some degree. That one movie helped usher in a decade of stylistic and artistic brilliance known as the 1970’s. The 70’s that gave us such powerhouse franchises as Star Wars, Rocky, Indiana Jones and Aliens. Although this decade was artistically stout it was very inconsistent in delivering financial rewards for the movie studios. This inconsistency lead to the beginning of the end, the 1980’s ushered in the practice of making movies by formula.
Movie studios moved from making movies to targeting specific demographics to extract money from their wallet. Creativity has been replaced by preproduction market research which determines the audience before production starts. This is a stark contrast to the creative freedom of prior years. This is an era where movie endings are changed by market research and characters are made more for their marketing potential and toy promotions than their character arch. Now that we have reviewed where we have been it’s time to reveal THE MISSING INGREDIENT! Hmm, getting to the main plot point so late, that is NOT going to test well with the 18 – 24 demo! Looks like SOMEONE won’t be selling any limited edition slurpee cups.
Of course when I speak of “the missing ingredient” I am talking about THE CANNON GROUP INC. Holy double takes batman, the CANNON GROUP? That’s right, The Cannon Group Inc. Movie Studio is what is missing from modern era movie making. Bare with me folks, this theory has some validity just look at all the text on this page. For those of you reading that do not know the history of the studio (most likely that demo I lost above), The Cannon Group is a movie studio that was active from 1967 – 1993. Wanna know why a movie studio that had a 26 year run was the game changer for all of Hollywood? Because they were the wild card, they were the crazy wacky unpredictable movie studio that was not B-movie and not top shelf. They were the thick meaty MID-LEVEL movie studio that did what they wanted with a vapid disregard for the viewer, a now extinct breed. We now live in a barren world of no-budget indie films struggling to swim up stream or the fat bloated uber-budget soon to be forgotten mega-movie. The indie film maker might take some risks in their hapless endeavor but the 30 or so people that see it won’t care enough to tweet about it and the blockbuster movie studios will only be doing safe franchise “reboots” or adaptation movies for the foreseeable future. In case you missed it the term “reboot” means Hollywood is taking crap movies we have already seen and RE-CRAPPING it out again and again. Hell, why bother thinking up a new story or character? Just take an existing story and make it all dark and edgy. Film it in that crappy grey brown that video games have adopted and off you go! Instant classic.
I am not a doom and gloom psychic saying that the end is neigh, but I am saying this period in film history will be seen as a dark sad time. Hollywood has become a formulaic crapfest churning out simple minded movies one after another. I have always liked B-movies, but modern B-movies stop and wink at the camera more than they try to act. My love for movies was born in the Chop-suey factories of Hong Kong in the 1070’s, guys in rubber monster outfits stomping on a fake citiscape and last but certainly not least the far out 50’s sci-fi flicks. Most do not consider these movies, but I submit to you these oft forgotten gems contain more heart and passion than most every blockbuster of the past 30 years. Look to The Cannon Group’s catalog if you want to discover wacky funny slick silly movies that are far better than they ever deserved to be. Not every one is a hit, there are plenty of bombs but I will bet dollars to donuts that you will laugh and smile and come away wanting more. See if you don’t, I double dog dare you!

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